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From our sleuth

Walking along the silver sand beach while on holiday at a secret tropical island location, our sleuth spotted something bobbing in the sea that looked like a bottle. Indeed it was! Inside was a rolled up piece of paper that appeared to be the scribbling of none other than the CoE – Alasspoor Darling. A transcript is attached.

Don’t Ask Me
The Chancellor’s Dilemma
I’m in a dilemma,
I don’t know what to do
For the best
We loose the election and I get the blame
For dousing recovery
Or fanning the flames
Of inflation or worse.
I’m in charge of the public purse
But GB wants this,
Lord M wants that,
All I can think of is raising the VAT.

Everyone knows we are deep, deep in debt,
And it must be paid off
As soon as its poss.
Some want it quickly
While some say ‘not yet’.
Shall I just print more money
Or tighten our belt?

Shall I go macro, think big and act bold
Or do I choose micro and creep into a hole?
There’s no doubt about it
We are all agreed
We’re in a fix.
But what’s the solution?

Some say I should tax more
Some tell me to spend
Some advise deep cuts –
It’s driving me round the bend.
Or should that be a double dip
Into a new recession?
What do I do if we’re going down hill?
Slam on the brakes
Or raise interest rates?

Spending too much is the cause of inflation,
Cheap credit it was that caused ruination.
Speculation is rife
With bubbles and spikes.
The pound is a problem,
It’s out of control.
One minute its down and our exports are up,
The next it is up and our imports go down.
Or is it the other way round?
Is the euro or dollar
The cause of the trouble?
If I was an economics scholar
I’d have all the answers, just like that.
Off pat.

But I’m out of my depth,
I don’t know what to do.
Do you?
Answers on a postcard, please.

And hurry!