New political party forming
“The crisis facing our country needs a new approach,” says spokesman. A new political party with the slogan ‘No taxation without repression’ has been formed by rebel MPs taking a lead from Sarah Palin’s runaway success in America . Although too late to have a conference this year, the new party plan to issue a Press Release stating their objectives. We have been fortunate in obtaining an advance copy ahead of general release next week.
Dodgy Dossier continues…
PRESS RELEASE from the POVERTEA PARTY
Taxing the poor is our first priority
“The prosperity of the few depends on the poverty of the many,” says leader of new political party. Rebel MPs from the three major political parties have announced they intend to form a new alliance called the PoverTea Party ahead of the next general election. The idea is based on the runaway success of Sarah Palin’s Tea Party in America. A spokesman who wished to remain anonymous said, “Our aim is to cure poverty with prosperity. A group of like-minded people have come to the conclusion that poverty has to be addressed in this country. The answer lies in tax reform. The level of taxation is not high enough to reduce our National Debt and the new 50% tax on earnings over £150,000 will not yield sufficient to make an appreciable difference. The only alternative is to raise taxes on middle and low-income earners and the poor.
The poor have a long tradition of bearing the burden of taxation, and the extra we propose will not make a significant difference to their already hard and underprivileged lifestyle. “By accepting additional taxes, those who work hard in order to contribute more to the nation’s coffers will be doing what is right for their country in these difficult times. We firmly believe that the only cure for poverty is prosperity and we intend to devote our efforts to this end.”
The spokesman went on to say that added taxation, coupled with means testing for a wide range of benefits, would achieve the PoverTea Party’s aim of creating a fair society where the rich get richer and the poor get even poorer. “It’s a matter of considerable satisfaction that we should be able to reach this point in the development of the Welfare State which enables us to move forward and to work on a solution to poverty that benefits both rich and poor,” he said.
“It’s a creative strategy which enables the poor to work longer and harder and, eventually, to have a stake in future development and prosperity. We also intend to raise the retirement age and reduce school leaving age to ensure sufficient tax take for future generations. This is a long term investment that will pay dividends to shareholders from the word go.”
“The increase in taxation contributed in this way will ensure that existing programmes serving critical needs can continue to be delivered and innovative programmes can be initiated to increase opportunities for the disadvantaged to live a life of dignity within our society.”
CAUSE OF POVERTY
Questioned on the cause of poverty the spokesman said. “There has always been poverty in this country – ever since the Norman Conquest when the land was given to the invading knights. Any vestige of independence was finally removed during the Enclosure Acts when thousands of hard working peasants and their children were turned off the land and herded into the mills to do an honest day’s work. Yes, it was a day’s work in many cases, but this injustice was corrected by our Victorian social reformers. Now everybody has an equal opportunity of climbing the property ladder and making a fortune from land speculation and gambling on the stock exchange. We live in a free society.
“And poverty is an excellent thing. It keeps people on their toes. And as Jesus said, the poor are always with us, so we need to make sure there are plenty of them. What would good people do if they didn’t have to organise soup runs?
“But what we must not forget is the benefit this system has brought to the major landowners who even today make vast profits from unearned income.
“The poor are too busy working and paying a multitude of direct and indirect taxes to see that they are subject to a double whammy. They are taxed to the hilt to pay for infrastructure improvements, the free health service and a raft of free state benefits. Any expenditure by the government on roads, railways and capital projects has the effect of increasing the value of land – making it more expensive for house building – and provides a golden opportunity for landlords to raise rents of offices, factories and accommodation. I can say without fear of contradiction that a substantial amount of taxation sooner or later ends up in the pockets of landowners.
“If the poor understood this they might turn their attention to an alternative system of raising revenue – a system that does not take from anybody anything they have produced. This is known as collecting the annual land rental value. After all, nobody can deny that the community creates land value. If this value was collected as a levy and returned to the community, then taxes on wages, goods and services as well as Council Tax, Stamp Duty and Inheritance Tax could all be reduced and eventually abolished. This method would not only provide an adequate fund for state requirements but also promote employment opportunities, increase wages and consumption and dramatically reduce the need for people to rely on the State to top up their miserable – sorry I mean minimum – wages.”
In a further shock announcement the spokesman went on to say, “Land Rental Value is simple and inexpensive to collect and, of course, since land cannot be hidden, those who use off shore accounts and other tax evasion schemes would not be able to escape contributing their fair share. It is a sad fact that profits from land speculation and the land value portion of rents represent unearned income and really amount to theft.
“But if I say any more I might let the cat out of the bag so let me conclude by saying our new party – the PTP as it will be known – will ensure that the man in the street has more things to worry about than think about the cause and the cure of poverty. If we can keep up the pressure of tax in order to maintain the status quo where the rich get richer and the poor are kept in poverty we will have achieved our objectives and done a great service to the country.
Thank you for your attention and I hope that you will be able to meet the members of the PTP once the formalities have been finalised.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Issued by the Press Officer for the PoverTea Party, 2B Boston Mansions, London W1Z 2ZX